Who needs support?

Throughout my years of having Crohn's and dealing with its ups and downs, I had always turned down the idea of speaking with a therapist or support group of any kind. During the times I was down I would find something to distract me and push my problems to the back of my mind and forget about them. I was too strong and proud to admit that sometimes I needed the help. :Like many Crohn's patients I learned to "Grin and Bear it". I was (and still am) really good at masking how I feel, putting a smile on my face and saying (or pretending sometimes) that I felt fine, my symptoms weren't that bad or nothing was bothering. At an early age I learned that a smile was much better than a frown and it made you and others feel better. Bottom line was I never wanted people to worry about me.

My upbeat attitude has worked against me also. When I look back on the past 4-5 years and what led me to having the surgery that changed my life...everything was not fine. I was very thin, but I wrote that off to exercising. I occasionally felt feverish and took Tylenol or Motrin so it would go away. I would have blockages that would clear themselves. There were too many things for me to do and I didnt' have time to be sick. So when I got sick, I got what I was trying to avoid -  a lot of people worrying about me. Still do and probably always will have.

The biggest thing that has changed for me and I have spoken of this before..I met someone like me with Crohn's, Short Bowel and TPN dependent. Don't get me wrong, I had met many others with Crohn's over the years and even volunteered for a CCFA advocacy program to meet up with others. I knew there were many people like me but I chose to suffer in private. Meeting Dave gave me the reassurance that life could and would go on. He and I have spoken many times in the past about starting a "positive" support group that will help others with our health limitations. I am proud to say we are having our second meeting in the Cincinnati area on Saturday September 6 from 1-3 pm at Dave's house. We are encouraging anyone with SBS, TPN dependent or not to attend. You never know what you might get out of it...Life is too short to smile everything a way!

One of the best ways to keep Living, Loving & Laughing is to share your experiences with others...you might never know who you will help!

The Patient becomes the Caregiver..

Caregiver & Patient...

My family has always been very supportive of me when I have had to deal with hospitalizations and surgeries. Four years ago when I was very ill after my bowel resection, someone was always with me when Mike couldn't, or taking care of our sons so Mike could get some rest or visit me. No questions asked, everyone just pitched in and did what had to be done. By doing so I could concentrate on getting better and not worry about everything. One thing I never expected was for my older sister, Kathy, to fly home several times to be with me when things were very bad. I know she cares for me a lot but she has her own life, business and family 1000 miles away. Since my previous surgeries and recovery were not as serious, phone calls and email were enough to keep her updated. 

In 2010, she took time out of her busy schedule to spend several weekends in Cincinnati to visit me at the hospital. She was the last person that I expected to see when I woke up in the ICU after having the thoracotomy from the lung infection. Unfortunately for her I started going through ICU Psychosis and thought everyone was out to kill me including her. In my mind at the time, it would have been perfectly normal to see Mike, my parents, in-laws or siblings sitting next to my bedside but not Kathy since she lived so far away. Initially her being there made me more anxious and paranoid of which I feel terrible about now. 

I tell you all this because several months ago, my sister called all excited because she had scheduled an elective surgery that she has wanted for a long time. Kathy has always struggled with her weight. About 10 years ago she lost 100lbs but had gained some back over the years. She has walked the Flying Pig half marathon 3 times and completed 2 Team Challenge 1/2 marathons in my honor. While preparing for the second team challenge event, she struggled with some health issues besides her weight and was unable to complete the entire 13.1 miles. I had flown out to Las Vegas with my friends to cheer her on. One of my friends, walked several miles with her for encouragement and support. Although she cut out a few miles, she and I crossed the finish line together! Kathy was very upset that she didn't complete the entire course, but in my mind she did since she raised over $3000 for the Crohn's and Colitis Foundation! It was enough for me to spend time with her while cheering her on!

Not long after that she started losing again but this time it wasn't a diet but a lifestyle change. She now watches what she eats religiously, works out with a trainer, practices yoga and runs. Since February of 2013, her hard work has paid off with  a weight loss of over 110lbs! So when she called me after scheduling her abdominoplasty and arm-tuck, I knew I had to be there with her, no questions asked.  This past Wednesday she had her surgery and everything went well. For the first time I have become the caregiver and not the patient. It is completely different being in the family waiting room than being under anesthesia! When you are under everything is blank, the waiting room was a bit boring and very cold! Two of her friends did stop by to stay with me during the long procedure, which was really nice and helped pass time.

Before surgery she was more worried about what I was going to eat, not getting bored and  than how she was going to do things while healing. Being a veteran of many abdominal surgeries, I knew what to expect - not being able to stand or lift legs by yourself, showering, using the spirometer, emptying the surgical drains, etc. She wants to do more than she should but is listening to me when I tell her to slow down or stop. She has realized how much catnaps help A LOT! If you have  never been through a larger surgery, you have no idea how you can feel perfectly fine before going under to becoming this complete weakling who can't shower or stand by themselves. I have been able to help her using my past experience for things she had no plans for! Yes I have food and things to do but now she has someone looking out for her. She never needed to ask for my help and didn't expect it but I would do it again in a heart beat!

Whether you are family or friend I will do what ever I can to keep you Living, Loving and Laughing right along side of me!

Kathy and I in Dallas, 60lbs down!

2014 Flying Pig with Kathy & Dad..their 3rd together! At her goal weight!!