LIVING with an ostomy wasn't easy at first. It took a long time to finally accept it but putting up a mental block to not deal with it was not an option. In the beginning I didn't think about it, the appliance was just there. About two years after I had my ostomy, I was talking with my Psychiatrist neice and mentioned that I didn't know if I had accepted my ostomy but looked at it as "it is what it is". her response was, maybe that is your acceptance. I had never looked it that way but I think she was right, I had accepted it on my terms and went on living my life.
LEARNING how to change my appliance (& keep it on) took several months of trial and error. I had a fear of going out and having a leak. Working with a nurse who specializes in Wound & Ostomy care, helped me find the correct products to use. I started taking an "emergency bag" with me in case of a leak. The first big event, I felt strong enough to attend after my surgery was my Aunt and Uncle's 50th wedding anniversary celebration. Getting dressed took a while to find the right clothes that fit (I was still very thin at the time) and also "hid" my appliance. I was nervous about seeing all my relatives but wanted to see them at the same time. Unfortunately on the drive there I had a "leak" and had to turn around and go home. I cried the entire way home because I was upset and embarrassed about why I couldn't make the event. As unpleasant as that evening was, it was just another bump in the read to learning how to live.
By writing this blog, I have learned to SHARE what I have gone through to help others learn how to continue living again. I also try offer support to spouses and family members so they can help their loved one . Patients can find support in local groups & on-line. The UOAA has a great website for reference. Inspire has a great group of people who share and sympathize with each other. Facebook has many open and closed pages that Ostomates can join to share their experiences, you just have to figure out what works best for you.
When I first came home with my ileostomy, I was ashamed and embarrassed. I knew no one with an ostomy nor how to live with one. I felt everyone could see it or smell it.I worried that I couldn't live life like I used too. Four years later, I have met some wonderful people who have helped me embrace my life and my ostomy. Without these people (whether I know in person or on-line) have allowed me to talk about my experience without worrying how knows about it. By Living, Learning and Sharing I have continued to Live, Love and Laugh!
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